Coach Red Announces Top 5 Female Celebrities

5/28- (Morristown, NJ)- Coach Red, last night outside "the tavern", gave some of the lads a taste of his sexual preferences, running through who he thought were the 5 hottest female celebrities on the planet. Here is a brief summary of how his list went:

1) Eva Mendes- From her bare-assed PETA campaign to her photo shoot

for Vogue Italia and her Calvin Klein perfume commercial that was too hot

for the U.S., the sultry star of five upcoming flicks is having a hard time

keeping her clothes on these days. [Insert grin here.]* Yes, coach Red loves

Cuban girls almost as much as he loves soccer.

2) Jessica Alba- Even The Love Guru could do nothing to still our thumping

hearts for this perennial hottie. We can’t wait for her to put her serious pants on

in the upcoming drama An Invisible Sign of My Own. And in 2010 we’ll surely

take our’s off to watch her reprise her role as a stripper in Sin City 2.* Red

implied that we would love to start a family with Ms. Alba.

3) Kate Bosworth- The actress' on-again, off-again romance with

Orlando Bloom frequently landed her in gossip columns, but in 2006,

her weight loss became an even more buzzed about topic. ** Red

blushed while talking about Kate, one of his favorite beauties.

4) Brooke Hogan- A while ago, Brooke Hogan's fame could be summed up in two

words: Daddy dearest. Brooke is none other than the daughter of wrestling icon Hulk

Hogan. For some time, she was largely recognized solely by her last name, but she is in

the midst of changing all that.*** Some say she looks like a man, but not Red. 

5) Lindsay Lohan- No list of beauty would be complete without LiLo. You’ll

soon be able to catch the sex icon in Labor Pains, a comedy in which she

pretends to be preggers. We’re hoping it’s not ours.* I guess Red had to include

at least one fellow Redhead!

Red's Honorable Mention:

Olympic Gymnast Nastia Liukin

Culinary Specialist Rachel Ray

Political Daughter Bristol Palin

* From MaximOnline.com's Hot 100 List

** From People.com's Kate Bosworth: Snapshot

*** From AskMen.com's Celebrity Profile: Brooke Hogan